gogh_gurl's Xanga

Hasta La Vista

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 04:28:02 GMT

After more than three years, I am leaving Xanga. Y'all knew it had to happen sometime. I sort of feel like I should have a funeral.

But -- in case the 3 people who still read this blog are ready to cry, never fear. I am starting fresh. I am reinventing. Streamlining, sprucing up, cleaning house. I am moving to blogger.

So change your bookmarks, from now on everything will be here .

One Day

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 16:28:48 GMT

I just finished reading a book called "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich" by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. It was my first tiny toe dip into Russian literature -- a category that I've been intimidated by for years. Russian lit has always seemed so dark and gloomy.

Well, "One day" is set in a Russian gulag in the 50's --- pretty dark and gloomy. But even so, it's not oppressive. We follow Ivan Denisovich Shukhov through his day, from waking to sleeping. The writing is spare. It has short sentences, short words, but is powerful -- like an eloquent man speaking when he is cold, and hungry, and tired.

The book is good, it is a book that doesn't just entertain, but actually makes you reflect on things like loyalty, trust, nobility of spirit, and the effect of religion on people's ability to endure and thrive in hardship. Highly recommended.

Monthly Resolution

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 02:52:11 GMT

I just had an idea -- maybe a good one, for me.

Everyone talks about making a New Years resolution (though talk is usually about as far as those go). Why not make a Monthly Resolution? That seems a whole lot more doable to me.

The watch word for me this coming month is going to be diligence. Despite several setbacks at work, I'm finally starting to hit my stride (though this could just be a moment of crazed optimism talking). With my new schedule set, it's time to get it together at home as well. I promised myself that if I got a good schedule that I would be able to accomplish so much more around here, but so far I'm just barely keeping up.

I think that if I'm able to maintain a month of sustained effort in my home life (the way I have at work this last month) I should be able to establish good habits and a workable routine. The hope is that in the end I'll be able to spend time with the family, take care of my chores, run errands, and do projects in the mornings; and then exercise, shower, write and have my quiet time before bed when I get home.

Here's to hoping and hard work.

Buying a Car

Sat, 18 Aug 2007 04:07:24 GMT

I'm buying a car soon, and thinking about what to get. The Mazda Protege caught my eye this afternoon. Have y'all heard anything (good or bad) about these?

Some thoughts on private worship

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 02:34:36 GMT

Usually I don't even realize that I've slipped until one day I'm in church and look up and realize that I haven't cracked open my Bible since the previous Sunday. Then there is guilt, but excuses are made. I've been busy, I'm tired, and hey -- this week without hasn't been too bad, right?

It's supposed to be daily bread I know, but I just finished that last study and I'm not sure what I should do next. I'll think about it, maybe I'll get a new book to help guide my study this time. And so another week rolls by. But I've not turned into a raving heathen from two weeks out of the Word.

I'm trying to find a good book to help me study, that's all. Plus there's all this stress at work, I really don't need pressure at home too, okay? All of these books are so *boring* -- why can't anyone write in plain English, in a way that doesn't make me want to fall asleep? And ugh, all this trash that's out from modern authors, it makes me ashamed for them. I'll deal with this later, I can't handle it right now.

Sunday again. When did I last meditate on my own? Or pray? Or read? Daily bread -- right. Shouldn't my life be a mess right now since I've neglected Him so badly if I really love and need God the way I say I do? Shouldn't I be more distraught? My life is fine! Except that I'm stressed out all the time, and cranky. My patience is razor thin, and I complain all the time. I've been overindulgent and undisciplined. I've not met any of the goals I've set for myself in a month. I'm distracted, frazzled, and generally frustrated. Alright. Maybe not so fine.

How can a person be so out of tune with themselves? Continue in something for so long completely blind to the downward slide?

For the Unwashed Masses -- some basic retail manners

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 14:26:53 GMT

1) If I owned this bookstore I'd be pulling in a multimillion dollar paycheck. I would not be standing in front of you wearing an Old Navy polo shirt and a plastic tag with my name on it.

Therefore, I have NO POWER to make any significant change in the store re: lighting, temperature, the color of the walls, the height of the bookshelves, the hardness of the floor, the size of the cafe, the size of the gifts and stationary area, the placement of the children's section, the number of stalls in the bathrooms, or the number of armchairs we have for you to sit in.

Therefore, since I have NO POWER regarding these things STOP BEING MEAN TO ME. It isn't going to help any of us. If you don't like the changes in our store (ie. it was dirty and old and poorly lighted, now it's clean, new, and bright) then you can go elsewhere. If you still feel the compulsion to complain and abuse someone, please call the headquarters for Big Giant Bookstore, and tell them about your current dissatisfaction.

What I can do is help you find a book, recommend a book for you to read, order a book for you, or check you out when you're ready to pay for a book. I am good at these things. I will bend over backward to help you find a book that is suited to your needs and interests. I will sometimes spend half an hour or more with a person or a family recommending and helping them find good books to read. This is more time than most doctors spend with their patients. I am educated enough, well read enough, and articulate enough to recommend books in almost every section of the store. I know the titles, authors, cover art, and placement in the store of thousands of titles. Therefore there is NO NEED TO BE MEAN TO ME WHEN I AM JUST DOING MY JOB AND DOING IT WELL.

2) Also, I don't really care that you are rich and I am not. That is no excuse for you to fling your credit card or cash at me as though touching my hand, and/or act as though showing courtesy to someone who has cheerfully served you is below your dignity. If you are a germaphobe and can't stand the idea of close contact, then place your money on the counter between us, so that I can pick it up easily without having to catch it midair.

3) Cell phones, while a great convenience, are not to be used while I am serving you. I am not an ATM -- I am a person, and in order to complete a transaction with me you will have to use some basic social skills. You are holding up the entire line with your highly inappropriate personal phone conversation. I can complete a transaction in 32 seconds -- just put the person on hold.

4) You are not in your house. This is a public place, and the items in this store are not your property until you have paid for them. Therefore, please do not
* Drag our armchairs halfway across the store and leave them in the middle of the aisle.
* Leave books scattered all over the floor where they may get damaged and someone may trip on them. We'll put them away if you'll just set them on one of the many tables, or hand them to us.
* Crack the spines of the books, damaging them.
* Let your kid trash the Children's Section, and then roll over all the books that Jr has flung on the floor with your huge stroller.
* Take books, magazines, or newspapers into the bathroom to read while you use the facilities. Ew.

A Mile With You

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 14:59:15 GMT

I woke up this morning with the line of a poem running through my head. It was response to Henry VanDyke's poem "A Mile With Me". Since "A Mile With Me" is my favorite poem I thought that it would be fun to write a full response.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

A Mile With Me by Henry VanDyke

O who will walk a mile with me
Along life's merry way?
A comrade blithe and full of glee,
Who dares to laugh out loud and free,
And let his frolic fancy play,
Like a happy child, through the flowers gay
That fill the field and fringe the way
Where he walks a mile with me.

And who will walk a mile with me
Along life's weary way?
A friend whose heart has eyes to see
The stars shine out o'er the darkening lea,
And the quiet rest at the end o' the day,--
A friend who knows, and dares to say,
The brave, sweet words that cheer the way
Where he walks a mile with me.

With such a comrade, such a friend,
I fain would walk till journeys end,
Through summer sunshine, winter rain,
And then?--Farewell, we shall meet again!

**********

A Mile With You by Erica

Dear Sir, I'll walk a mile with you
Along life's merry way.
They'll say of us, 'Their pleasure flew'
And, 'Never were two friends so true'
Our laughter loud will even sway
The most forlorn to smile and bray.
We'll gambol up and down the way
Where I walk a mile with you.

My Friend, I'll walk a mile with you
Along life's weary way.
So when your heart faints at the view
Look in my eyes; I see it too.
But though the world is dark and gray,
And each foul beast makes us their prey,
Defy them all along the way --
Where I walk a mile with you.

And though I'm not the man you sought
A heart like mine is finely wrought
To gleam in sunshine, withstand rain
Until my friend, we meet again.

Dr. Mom

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 20:25:04 GMT

We have a neighbor who lives across the street from us. She seems to be a nice older lady, though we've only talked to her a couple of times since we've lived here. We wave and smile when we see her puttering in her yard, and she does the same.

For three years we've seen her watering her spider plant and feeding the chipmunks that scurry through her grass. And even still, I have to look at her with amazement. You see, the woman looks like she's 15 months pregnant. Her arms and legs and face are all fairly normal size, but her stomach is gigantic. For three years my mom has been saying, "Erica, she has a 50 or 60 pound ovarian cyst. Why doesn't she get that out?"

A couple of weeks ago our neighbor was outside again, and suddenly she was normal sized! Mom got to talking with her, and lo and behold she had just had a 60 pound ovarian cyst removed. Her doctors had just kept telling her that she needed to go on a diet. She hadn't been in any pain, but they finally did a CAT scan and found the cyst.

In other words, my Mom made the diagnosis that the doctors missed three years ago from sixty feet away. Sometimes I worry that she may have missed her calling.

Sick and Tired and Filthy

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 02:45:03 GMT

Things at work have reached a point where every hour is an exercise in patience.

The constant fog of drywall dust, grout dust, tile dust, ceiling popcorn bits and plain old dirt that hangs in the air has struck about 75% of the staff with allergy, sinus, and respitory problems. Due to that same fog every cranny of bit of merchendise is filthy. Everything I touch makes me filthy, my clothes are impregnated with grime, my hair coated, and my hands --- ugh. But there isn't a sink where we can conveniently wash our hands, so we're reduced to using wet wipes that smell like baby tushy. Right now my hands sport a motly assortment of ink stains (from the pen that exploded on me), broken nails, and chapped skin.

There is a single unisex bathroom for the entire store, staff, and construction crew. The air conditioner still only works sporatically, usually we're sweating, but once in awhile it cools off so fast and so much that your sweat freezes. The construction crew doesn't clean up after themselves. Tonight I finally took two huge ladders, a shovel, a broom, a ceiling tile, and a stack of shelves that they'd left strewn randomly around my department and stacked them in a corner. They'd covered my cash register area in wads of paper and crumpled sheets of plastic, which I rolled up and also stacked away. Customers can't shop when they do that! All of that stuff was sitting in my department for two days before I finally came to grips with the fact that they weren't going to come back and finish what they were working on.

The back room is being renovated now, which means that all of the back stock, and all of the new shipment has just been piled into a huge tower in the center of the room. My stuff of course has been in the middle of the pile since last tuesday. Today was the first day I've been able to get to anything for a week. To top it off, we're having an Inventory next week. This means that every single item in my department, including all of my backstock has to be stickered and accounted for before next Sunday. I can't complete my Supervisor training (which is mandetory) for one very simple reason --- I don't have anyone to supervise, and won't until we hire someone later in the fall after all of this is over. Because of my inability to get to my stock in the back room these last few days, I've been bored out of my gourd -- and now I get to play catch up. I spent all evening sprinting around the store sweating about getting everything into some semblance of order.

But for all of that I have to say -- I did get things in order. I can get to my boxes now. About 1/5 of my backstock got inventoried tonight, so I think I'll be alright by next weekend. I got my paycheck today, which is my first since I got my raise, and it was great. I also bought two new books and a magazine, which I plan on enjoying thoroughly.

New Book

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 02:18:47 GMT

I started reading a new book today, "The Art of the Personal Essay" by Phillip Lopate. It is a compilation and contemplation of a set of personal essays from the ancient greeks, up through modern authors.

I haven't been this excited about a book in awhile. It's a serious scholarly book but it's written in an engaging style, about a topic that I love. Already I've learned so much, and I'm only 70 pages in. I'm a little giddy about it -- like I've found a new crush, and we're in that flirty "I like you; do you like me" stage. I have a little flutter in my stomach just thinking about it.

This is the first book I've read in a long while that has really made me think and actively engage with what the author was saying, without it being a chore to read. My brain is buzzing with information, I'm holding a conversation with the text, and I'm enjoying it. I'm not struggling against the dry, formulaic, formality that so many serious works employ.

Yay!